The Notes of Loony Dawn (Chapter 01)

One day, I woke up. Feeling so weird and quirky. Look into the ceiling for a while. Wondering what am I doing in life. Once, I was a kid who thought that i won't reach more than the 26th year of life. Now, if so … Indeed I already dead at 26th, means years ago. 

It is so strange to still walk, work, and do the barely basic things human do when you don't really wanna do anything. It's so weird that I still live years after 26. 

Then I realized that was just me being a coward. How could that little girl such as coward and believe that she would die merely young at 26? 

Then there's the problem. The 32 years me, still believe on that outdated thought. The facts that I am still living even though I neither want it or not. 

That's the problem. Because I still believe I should've been dead, that's why I lose the vision of life. I don't have it in me anymore. 

But then, I walked, see beautiful sky, beautiful little flowers, cute cats, silly chikens, grass, trees, the winds twirling the leaves, the kids laughing, the hardworker adults, the birds, the little insects, the water drop, the puddle, the ground, the rain, clouds, good people, and so on, and all. And everything is so beautiful yet so strange to me. It feels like the world i never belongs to. It's so weird. But so fit. Even tho I never fit in. 

Then I think to myself. What's wrong with me? Am i not grateful enough to feel this way about life? I have a very kind and beautiful people around me. I have enough food, roof upon me, and time to fill. But still feel this way. 

So here I am, lost and trying to figure out life. Maybe I way too long live as Loony Dusk (that's my nickname from my dearest family), the one who get a little bit Loony when the sun goes down. So, now I would like to see from the difference timeline. Dawn, the time where I was born. Probably, from now on, I would go back to the time when I was born. The Dawn, and rewrite my life again. 

Tue, 27th October 2026

01:18 AM.